I write this blog from the “girl in the pew” point of view. I didn’t go to church as a kid and my search for God didn’t start until about ten years ago. God led me to Chris who became my husband and cruise director along this Christian journey. I was baptized three years ago and will share that experience in a later post. I attended a church church for two years before becoming part of a house church. That is the sum total of my church experience. Recently, I learned that being a Christian comes with a giant cart load of baggage.
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My friends and family were quietly observing my journey towards Christ and my church family was super supportive and encouraging. My Christian experience was all sunshine and roses until my eldest daughter started school two years ago. I began connecting with other parents and caregivers in the school yard where I was the “token” Christian and I was surprised by the questions, judgements and general negativity that were thrown my way. Girl in the pew felt overwhelmed, lost and completely unequipped to respond in any constructive way. Why were they trying to burst my happy bubble? Where did all this hurt come from? God is so good. Are we that bad?
Fortunately I have a pretty solid group of Jesus followers and mentors who navigate me through this stuff providing encouragement, counsel and the occasional history lesson. While at times I still feel terribly ill equipped for the questions and comments that come my way, I trust God has planted me where I can bloom. I have developed genuine friendships with my school buddies so when the inevitable does happens and I say the wrong thing I am confident that the relationships will not only survive but strengthen.
I have decided to set the giant cart load of Christian baggage by the side of the road and focus on taking responsibility for my own behaviour, actions and words. Sometimes I would like to hide in my comfy bubble and pretend there is no responsibility. But there is. I need to be Him in the world. So the flawed me needs to engage with my world.
Challenge accepted.
